Where did you get a picture of my penis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
