I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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