I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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