don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
