Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
