I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
