"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
