I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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