Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
