Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
