She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
