i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
