I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pants are for mortals
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
