I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
