Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
