Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
