New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm at about main and main street
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
