2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
