i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
