Me too!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
