and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
