Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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