when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
