Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
