i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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