I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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