Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
