Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
