i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this boner is exhausting
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
