who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
