Non-Jews are for practice
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We have so much sex to catch up on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
