I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
