I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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