This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
