"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
