I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
