Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
