I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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