Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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