my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
