party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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