Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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