I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
