The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
