Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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