I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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