i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
