did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
