ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
