As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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